Ok let’s get something straight from the get go. I do not speak honky talk. I do not honk. Cars honk (we’ll discuss that rudeness later)…geese do not honk. Geese enunciate. We speak clearly. We do not equivocate. Geese tell it like it is. From time to time I do get my feathers ruffled by the unintentional faux pas of your species when carelessly rambling about in what you blithely refer to as “the great outdoors”, which happens to be my home and the traditional home of my ancestors. The cumulative effect of these behaviors has caused the more creative and intelligent members of my kingdom to resort to befriending the interlopers, using the well known Taoist strategy, Stoop to Conquer. I think humanity calls it domestication…whatever. After generations of studying your species, we have discovered that there is actually no ill will on your part, merely ignorance of the delicate subtlety that holds THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE TOGETHER! Oh, sorry, sometimes I forget to use my indoor voice.
My dear, dear Miss Leah, who has applied herself and successfully learned from me the simple practices and courtesies so valued by us “natural” beings, has kindly extended to me the opportunity to educate her friends and visitors to Leah’s Front Porch. An example of the rigorous training which Leah undertook, is illustrated below:
This of course represents training of the highest level. I do not expect you to begin here, but rather let the unfolding of this wisdom proceed at your own pace. I welcome all questions, although I do not subscribe to the notion that there are no stupid questions. There most definitely are stupid questions, but ask them anyway. At the very least you will provide amusing entertainment for the rest of us. Ask me anything. I put the GOO in GOOGLE. I will slap the “silly” out of your notion of geese.